Look Beyond The Pain
by amandakingluvsscarecrow
Summary: WARNING: Complete AU which takes place 7 years after the marriage in 1987. (In Progress)
1. Default Chapter

Look Beyond The Pain  
  
Written By: Dawn Otstot  
  
Date: 2/19/02  
  
WARNING: Complete AU which takes place 7 years after the marriage in 1987.  
  
Rated: R (For Violence, sexual situation, and Intense Language) Read at your Own Risk.  
  
** General Disclaimer ** Scarecrow and Mrs. King and anything there by associated with SMK in this FF, the rights are owned by Warner Brothers Entertainment and Shoot the Moon Enterprises Ltd. ..  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
Well he finally did it. Lee 'Scarecrow' Stetson, after all these years, successfully got her out of his life. His beautiful wife of seven years was finding no time like the present to exit that door, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Caught up in the moment Lee could feel nothing, nothing but the sensation of his hands becoming ice cold, his heart beat slowing and pounding ever so hard upon his chest, and a set of tears burning trails down his pale, cold cheeks.  
  
'God I love her so much...Why am I doing this, God please tell me why?' he pleaded. His former defenses which had helped keep him emotionless the years before he met her were now nonexistent, and the man known as Scarecrow was in a pleading cry. Not a deep sob that would bring attention to himself, but his eyes were beat red, tears flowed freely like the rain, and the soft sound of a sniffle every 5 seconds was easily heard by any in the room.  
  
He stared aimlessly at the door, holding her pained image in his eyes as long as he could, even as his brain told him that she was no longer there. He could still feel the tingle of her touch along his face, but it wasn't a soft gentle touch. As the fog in his mind started to fade he began to realize it wasn't a tingle at all, but more like a sharp sting, and he wouldn't be surprised if there was a bruise soon to follow. He didn't care because in his heart she had every right to slap him that hard, and he would have gladly taken a hard punch to the ribs or even a bullet if it meant he could get rid of the pain she must be feeling now.  
  
Lee wasn't the type to stand by and watch a woman being struck, and he'd sooner shoot off his own foot before he'd ever do it himself. But even more powerful than his beliefs on the proper treatment of women in general, had always been his complete assurance that he would kill any man that ever laid a hand upon his Amanda. Unfortunately, this time he had no choice but to let it happen in front of his own eyes. She had just become a victim to a verbal and physical attack. Not by his own hand, dear god no. There is no way in hell he would ever do that no matter what. It was the verbal end he just dished it out, and as each damning word came out if his mouth he felt his heart dying inside of him. However, nothing was more painful though then having to watch another man practically rape her while he stood there doing nothing. If he did attempt to interfere, the end result would have been much worse, he would have to watch Amanda die.  
  
'Oh God help me...Help her understand I'm doing this for her life, not because I want her gone. Protect her, so I can find a way out of this mess.' Lee then doubled over, arms crossed along his stomach, and his legs pulling him into a crouched position. Letting the rest of his weight take over, he leaned against the base of the couch, and glared hard at the one man making his life a living hell.  
  
"Well done Stetson. I didn't think you had it in you, and I loved the expression she had on her face. Now as long as she stays away from you, she lives." Ronkovik spouted in a husky Russian voice.  
  
The man standing before Lee was one of the last remaining Russian Mob leaders left in the former Soviet Union. Because of a previous run in with Lee, in which his plans had been ruined, Ronkovik had come up with a new plan where Lee would be forced to be at his beck and call. This man was out to break up the best team ever assembled by any known and unknown Law Enforcing Agency out there, and he wanted to make their lives as miserable as possible. Little did Ronkovik know that Lee and Amanda had left The Agency over 3 years ago.  
  
"SHUT the HELL up...Get the hell out of my house and my life you son of a bitch!" Lee stressed every word to make his anger and pain known to the Russian. Little did he know that God had been listening to his quiet pleas earlier; Amanda sat curled up in a fetal position just outside the door.  
  
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	2. Does He see my tears?

Special Thanks: To Breezy for her support, to Jessi for coming to my rescue to Beta this, and Dani for trying to help out, even with her busy school schedule...  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
She had hit him, and then walked out. Never once allowing herself to look back to see the pain and fear in his eyes, but the second she slammed the door it hit her like a ton of bricks. Amanda could still feel the roughness of that mans hands, the cold sensation of his touch invading places only Lee was aloud to be. Every move this man made was neither warranted nor approved by her in any manner, and she fought hard to dissuade his advances. The feeling he left behind made her feel sick and filthy, and she could still hear the echoes of her cries to Lee for help, but they went unanswered.  
  
MOMENTS EARLIER - Amanda's POV  
  
He just stands there, motionless, but his eyes seem afraid of something, something I can't pinpoint to save my life. When the man threw me away from his painful embrace, I stumble back against Lee, and immediately latched onto him for protection. He seems as if he wanted to hold me and bare to me his soul, but just as quickly as I felt him make an attempt to comfort me, I felt him retreat and become angry.  
  
"Leee....Leee help me... please...He's hurting me. Lee for crying out loud…Answer me." I feel myself screaming out, trying every way I know to get him to respond. But he doesn't, his eyes go cold, and he begins yelling at me with words that seemed foreign coming from those lips. Angry, vulgar, hateful things that shredded away at my soul, and I swear I feel my heart dieing.  
  
"Amanda... Just shut up...SHUT the Hell up. Don't even look at me because those tears mean nothing...Did you hear me...NOTHING..."  
  
That's when I feel a sharp yank backward. His rough grimy hand went under my shirt, along my stomach, and began to grope wherever he feels it was his pleasure to go. Oh God it's painful. Why isn't Lee helping me? Why is he le...letting him touch me like this?  
  
I make one more attempt to get through because I seriously don't know how much more I can take.  
  
I scream again through my tears, " Lee I love you...What's wrong with you? Why are you letting this man hurt me..." As I scream, the man laces his fingers hard around my neck, pulls me towards his face, and tries to kiss me. His scent is making me utterly sick, and with him this close it leaves me with one last option. This is going to hurt; I just know it.  
  
"Owww...Damn you women…" Oh geese...I was right, I'm sure going to have one nasty headache, but at least he's backing off. At least that's what I think until I feel a sharp stingingly hot slap across my face. So hard I feel my jaw crack, and it knocks me to my knees. I faintly hear Lee gasp and whisper 'Oh God'. For the life of me I don't know what is going on, and when I look back at Lee it's obvious he also was affected when a solitary tear rolls down his face. But, again he confuses me when I move towards him trying to keep my balance.  
  
"Don't Amanda...Get out of my face...and while your at it, get out of my life..."  
  
At this point I can no longer take the abuse. Being that I have no clue where my Lee is, and the only control I had left is now gone, I stand before this new, cold Lee and with all the force within me, I hit him. I slap him so hard across the face that he stumbles backwards a bit, and then I walk out.  
  
PRESENT  
  
For some reason her body would not let her leave. She felt slightly light headed, and her legs began to cave, so she leaned back against the house just to the right of the door and slid into the fetal position, pulling her legs against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She tucked her head down and cried even harder than before. Amanda then began to rock as if trying to calm herself down but with little success. When she slammed her head back against the wood panel, she inhaled deeply preventing herself from screaming out in pain. That is when she heard it, ever last word, and silently thanked who ever willed her from leaving.  
  
"Well done Stetson. I didn't think you had it in you, and I loved the expression she had on her face. Now as long as she stays away from you, she lives."  
  
'Oh my gosh... I... I knew it...' "Oh god Lee, sweetheart...I'm sorry..." she thought aloud and continued to listen.  
  
"SHUT the HELL up...Get the hell out of my house and my life you son of a bitch..."  
  
'Lee...Oh sweetheart I hope you can hear me...just don't give up, please! We'll find a way out of this, and I'm going to do everything I can to help you...' she thought to herself, hoping he could feel her strength or hear her.  
  
"Tsk Tsk Stetson, you need to watch that temper of yours. I'm still not done with you ya know... I'm satisfied that you've made her quite angry with you, but I just don't feel like it's over. I believe you Americans call it, oh what is it... the big D. And then, guess what my friend?" he said, just hoping to push Lee enough to cause his own demise.  
  
"Spare me this fucking mind game, and just spill it Ronkovik..."  
  
Hearing that name caused a deep painful feeling in the pit of Amanda's stomach, and she realized this was even worse then she had previously thought. When dealing with the Russian Mob there was only one way out, death. Three years ago both of them swore to each other to completely withdraw from The Agency. Their involvement in a case that they now call 'The Last Run', had almost caused the untimely death of their son Jamie. Unfortunately, she could see no other way out. Right at that moment she had maybe a 5% chance of getting him out, and no chance of them escaping from being hunted the rest of their lives. With The Agency's help they just might make it out alive.  
  
Amanda covertly made her way to her Jeep parked just south of their old Oak; she dialed IFF hoping Francine was still there.  
  
"International Federal Films, how may a direct your call?" A very deep, male voice chimed over the phone.  
  
"Uh, yes...I need to speak with Francine Desmond please!" She said with urgency.  
  
"And who, may I ask, is calling?"  
  
"This is Amanda Stetson, now can you please connect me to her now!!" She hoped her unsteady voice didn't show how shaken she really was.  
  
Lucky for Amanda the young man recognized the name 'Stetson' by the reputation Lee and Amanda had established before they left. They had set a standard many Agents strived their entire careers to reach, but truly no team could ever match what they did. He immediately patched her through.  
  
"Good Evening Amanda. This is quite an unexpected call...You're lucky you caught me, I was just about to head... Why do I get the feeling you have some unpleasant News to share?"  
  
Hearing some rather odd noises coming from the direction of her house, she decided too much time has been wasted, and gave the fastest answer she could think of in the moment. Besides her headache wasn't helping her to think clearly.  
  
"Francine you have to trust me on this. Something I can't quite explain is going down in our home... This is a Zulu Blue situation. Just meet me at Randy's." Before Francine could respond, Amanda hung up the phone and made her way back to the house, wanting to hear Lee once more before she left.  
  
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	3. No Matter What it Takes...

Chapter 3  
  
Amanda's POV  
  
I can't for the life of me tell you what those noises I heard coming from the house were, but it frightens me even more now since I know some what of what we are dealing with.  
  
Okay, so talking wasn't a good thing, cause now I can feel a deep throbbing in my jaw where Ronkovik almost knocked me out cold, and there seems to be a knot on my forehead giving me the worst headache I've had in years. Oh great! What is this? I seriously don't remember getting water on my...wait a minute, that's blood. What the...gosh it must be coming from my mouth, cause now that I think about it I can taste it too. Well, at least when Francine takes in the sight of me, she'll have no reason to not believe something's up.  
  
As I slowly and cautiously make my way back to the house, I notice the silence around me is becoming quite deafening. Owww...hmmm I guess that's another injury I didn't know I had. Man my side sure does hurt.... Okay Amanda, just breathe and relax...Breathe...We need to see that Lee's okay before we meet Francine. Okay...almost there... Cute Amanda, leave the keys in the Jeep. Oh forget it, I know my lock pick is around here some...Ah Ha, there it is. Now let see, just to the left, and....click. Gosh I hope that mans not near the door. Slowly...turn...the knob. There we go, now just push it open ever so slightly...Hmm that's odd, I could have sworn all the lights were on a minute ago.  
  
Now if I just stay low, and peak around the corner. Shoot, I don't see Lee anywhere.  
  
"Mmmmm ohhhh...."  
  
What the heck was that? "Lee... Leee..." I say at a soft but urgent whisper.  
  
"Ohhhh Amaa...Amanda...go!!...Leave, please...owww... Bef...Before he comes.."  
  
Oh my gosh. I knew that sounded like Lee. They must have had a nasty fight. I bet that was what I heard. Damn I need to get him out of here.  
  
"Hell no Lee...I'm not leaving you...Now I'm going to somehow drag you out of here, and please feel free to help me out, cause your not exactly light." I must say this is going to be interesting, me dragging Lee out of here while my body feels like I went through a battering ram. Okay, got him. Oh gees, Lee your heavy...  
  
"Amanda, no."  
  
"Lee… hush...now help me get you to the Jeep…please..."  
  
"Uhhggg"  
  
Okay, either that was his version of giving in or I hit a sensitive spot. Come on Lee just a little bit further, I don't know if I have the strength to drag you.  
  
"Were almost there...Just a few more steps...Okay I know this is going to hurt, but you need get in, quickly...There..."  
  
Shoot, it might not be a good idea to start the vehicle this close to the house. Thank God we live on a flat street because I'm going to have to push... Wow this is painful...Just a few more feet and I can get in and get the hell out of here.  
  
That's when I couldn't take it anymore, I hop into the driver seat, throw it into park so I can start the engine, and just as quickly put it into drive. When I look over at Lee, I see him looking right at me. He has both a pained and scared look on his face, but he just sits there and says nothing. I must have known what he was thinking cause I responded as if he said the question out loud.  
  
"I don't know why Lee, but something wouldn't let me leave...maybe it was just cause I was lightheaded, but for some reason it feels like something more...Then I heard about everything that was said and I knew then I couldn't leave you behind."  
  
For once in our lives he actually sits there and again says nothing. His eyes were locked on me the entire time, soaking up every word I say as if this was all a dream and he was about to get a rude awakening.  
  
No Longer in Amanda's POV  
  
"Amanda?"  
  
"Shush Lee...let me finish... So I sat there for a moment and tried to figure out what had just happened in there and how on earth we were going to get out of this. I remembered I had left my cell phone in the Jeep, took my chances, and called Francine."  
  
"Oh no, not The Agency...Amanda how cou..."  
  
"Lee, listen to me. We have a much better chance getting out of this alive with their help than without it. Besides, Francine is our friend, and she'd do anything to help us if we need it...So don't be angry with me for wanting you in my life, alive, and for asking her to help us.."  
  
"I'm not mad at you Amanda! I just don't think you understand the full implications of what you just did. This is the Mafia, Russian Mafia at that. These guys make the KGB look like school children with toy water guns. We…"  
  
"Lee I know full well what I've done, and I'm not going to give into these guys. I love you too much to be without you, so forgive me if I want to try to save our lives." Her grip tightened on the steering wheel as the pain in her head increased, and the frustration to make him understand grew.  
  
She then looked up at her rear view mirror a few more times to make sure there wasn't a tail and turned right on to D St. Lee shifted his body around the seat a few more times, trying anything to get comfortable, but the pain was all over. Finally giving up, yet again, he placed his left hand on top of her right one, and tugged at it until she released her death grip from the wheel and interlaced it with his.  
  
Reaching their destination, Randy's, and old 'Bar and Grill' Billy had at one time frequented, Amanda checked one last time for a tail and exited the Jeep. She came around to the passenger side, opened the door, and helped Lee ease his way out. The bright glow of the street lamp highlighted every detailed feature on Amanda's face, and the second Lee turned to look into her eyes he fully understood what Ronkovik had done to her. He reached up, placing his fingers under chin and smoothed his thumb over the deep bruise and drying blood.  
  
"Oh my...god." he said, with pain evident in his voice.  
  
"Lee...It's alright...I…I understand."  
  
"No Amanda...It's not alright..." Fighting back tears, "… He hurt you, badly...I did nothing...but let him. Oh god! I'm so sorry..."  
  
"It's not your fault Lee...I'm...Uh...I'm okay"  
  
Lee couldn't take it, he needed to touch her, to hold her and know she was really there. So he wrapped her up into his warm, but aching arms, and nuzzled his face along her neck.  
  
"You are not okay Amanda. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice...Please...forgive me..."  
  
"You are right Lee. I'm not alright...But this physical pain right now means nothing to me...You're here, with me, and that's all that matters...Now we better get in there before Francine really starts to panic." 


	4. We Know Eachother Well

My apologies for the delay on getting Part 4 out...Been a very hectic few months, and alot of things needed to get done...  
  
THANK YOU Gretchen aka Pippi for Betaing Part 4....  
  
  
  
WARNING: Complete AU which takes place 7 years after the marriage in 1987. Rated: R (For Violence, sexual situation, and Intense Language) Read at your Own Risk.  
  
** General Disclaimer ** Scarecrow and Mrs. King and anything there by associated with SMK in this FF, the rights are owned by Warner Brothers Entertainment and Shoot the Moon Enterprises Ltd. ..  
  
  
  
__________________________  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Amanda tugged at Lee's left arm motioning him to drape it over her left shoulder.  
  
"Here Lee, you can lean on me for support, remember I'm a lot strong then I look...Oww!"  
  
Not realizing she said that out loud, she looks up at Lee with a questioning glance. She sees him retreating back slightly at the sound of her soft cry from pain.  
  
"Oh gosh Lee, I'm sorry...I didn't realize I said that out loud..." She places her hand along the side of his face, caresses her thumb over his lip, and turns his gaze to her. "..Lee, look at me. I'm ok, you can lean on me, I can take it...That's what partners are for."  
  
"I know Amanda, believe me I know. But it's so much harder when you partner is your wife, and she looks up to you now and then to save her life. And then one day a mad man comes along, takes control of you're of sed life, and beats your wife in front of your own damn eyes. Meanwhile..."  
  
Amanda can't take watching Lee beat himself up any longer, she grabs each side of his face, lacing her fingers behind his head, and pulls him forward till they are nose to nose.  
  
" Lee...Stop this... Stop it right now. I'm not going to stand here and let you tear yourself apart over something that was out of your control. What's done is done sweetheart, we need to move on and try to figure out how we are going to stop this from ever happening again. Now Francine is waiting for us, so let's go."  
  
Just as Amanda starts to move them forward towards the entrance, Lee pulls back, and fumbles with something in his pocket. He then checks his pants pockets only to find that the object he is searching for is not there.  
  
Not sure what he's up to, Amanda turns to face him, searches his face for an answer, and makes a comment.  
  
"Hey, are you..."  
  
"I'm alright Amanda, just trying to find something...Ahh shoot...Oh well...Come in a little closer, so I can see your face better."  
  
Not exactly sure what he is up to, and more confused then before, she steps in a little closer. Lee grabs her chin with his left hand, placing his index finger underneath her chin and his thumb just along her cheek, and tilts her face to the side.  
  
"Lee, what on earth are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing to worry about, just hold still for a second, k?"  
  
"Ohh Ok.."  
  
Lee then proceeded to wet down the end of his thumb with his tongue, he then smoothed that same finger along the edge of Amanda's mouth where the blood had dried from earlier. Amanda flinched back just a bit until she realized what he was up to. Once Lee had completed the task at hand, he leaned in ever so slowly and placed a lingering feather light kiss on the edge of her lips.  
  
"There....much better. Now I'm ready. So, how much were you able to fill....Amanda?"  
  
Lee makes an attempt to advance forward when he notices his better half hasn't moved an inch since he kissed her. Taking note that she is completely lost in thought, he shifts to where he is in her line of sight, and waves his hand in front of her eyes.  
  
"Hey, Amanda!! You in there somewhere? Earth to.."  
  
"Huhh? Ohh, I'm sorry Lee. I was just thinking, I think...Not really sure...umm yah."  
  
AMANDA'S POV  
  
"Hey, are you..."  
  
"I'm alright Amanda, just trying to find something...Ahh shoot...Oh well...Come in a little closer, so I can see your face better."  
  
What on earth is he up to? I would have to say I am definitely more confused then I was before, so I'll just play along with him and step in a little closer. Lee then grabs my chin with his left hand, placing his index finger underneath my chin and his thumb just along my cheek, and then tilts my face to the side.  
  
"Lee, what on earth are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing to worry about, just hold still for a second, k?"  
  
"Ohh Ok.." I say, trying not to appear a bit nervous about his behavior.  
  
Then, for some strange reason Lee wets down the end of his thumb with his tongue, he then smoothes that same finger along the edge of my mouth where the blood had dried from earlier. Wooo, what one Earth his he doing!! Oh...seems he's cleaning off my face now. How odd, yet I'd have to say, very sweet. What...wooo. Ok, how does he do that? Just a simple, lingering kiss and I feel like I'm lost in some sort of nirvana. Wow, those are sure some beautiful colors.  
  
"There....much better. Now I'm ready. So, how much were you able to fill....Amanda?"  
  
What ever this is, it sure feels good. Hold up, where'd Lee go? Oh, ha there he is, waving his hand at me for some reason...Oh my gosh, maybe that's why, I haven't responded in the last 5 minutes. Boy I must have hit my head harder then I thought...  
  
"Hey, Amanda!! You in there somewhere? Earth to.."  
  
"Huhh? Ohh, I'm sorry Lee, I was just thinking, I think...Not really sure...umm yah."  
  
He then places his hand on my shoulder and gets a rather goofy look on his face...  
  
"Amanda, you sure you're alright?"  
  
"Yah, I guess so, why do you ask?"  
  
Ok Amanda, play it cool, and start aiming for the entrance.  
  
"Well, maybe because for like 5 minutes, your mind was in a galaxy far, far away."  
  
"Oh...I'm sorry sweetheart...Remind me later, and maybe I'll be able to explain what just happened. We've already wasted too much time, poor Francine is probably going nuts in there."  
  
Out of Amanda's POV  
  
Realizing too much time had been wasted, both hobbled their way to the entrance. Amanda reaches for the handle on the door, knowing that this particular door can be a little fussy at times. She tugged at it a little harder, but was surprised when it seemed to be towing another object along with it. The object the door seem to be towing was none other then Francine.  
  
"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know someone... Francine!!" Amanda commented as her eyes met a rather startled friend.  
  
Caught off guard, Francine began to retort, but quickly withdraws the comment when she realize who is just feet in front of her.  
  
"Excuse...yo....Lee...Amanda...What on earth took you so... Ohh... my god...Wh..."  
  
Lee, not able to stand much longer from the increasing pain in his leg, leans more of his weight on Amanda causing her to stumble a bit. Amanda takes the subtle hint and pushes Francine forward into Randy's.  
  
"We need to get him seated as soon as possible, I think his leg is giving out on him, and I don't think my body can take much more either."  
  
"I think my booth in the back is still open. Might as well head back there, away from possible prying eyes, and ears..." Francine's voice almost faded to a null when she caught sight of Amanda doubling over. She could see Lee's only means of support falling away from him. Not knowing who needed the most attention, she reached out for Amanda only to find her attempting to steady herself with the closest table. It was obvious to Francine that her friend was fading fast, so she placed herself beneath Lee's arm and guided him to the nearest booth.  
  
As soon as Lee was settled and stable, Francine returned to Amanda side only to find she was not there, instead making a hasty retreat for the ladies room. She turned her focus to Lee for a moment and noticed he had become frightened by Amanda's actions. The intensity in his eyes was unlike anything she had ever seen before. They held what seem to be a almost primal fear, awful guilt, and deep sadness.  
  
"Don't even think about it Lee...You just sit back down there before you fall on your face... I'll go check on her, alright!!" She said as Lee made an attempt to go after Amanda.  
  
(TBC) 


End file.
